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HATRED
By Kahlan Carlson
CHAPTER 1
Wake up, wake up! This is just a dream.
This is what I tell myself, but of course it’s real. I can’t wake up, not now, not ever. That man took my life, now I don’t know what to do. He took me to that place and let me there to rot.
“Wake up soldier!”
No it can’t be him. He killed me. I’m just dreaming in my afterlife. Even dead people can dream, right?
“Bree, wake up! I’m not going to tell you again.”
I know who it is, but it’s not him. What’s that sound, oh no!
“I said get up,” said the young sixteen year old boy in front of my gasping state.
I hate him. I hate my brother. I am drenched in ice cold water and sitting straight up in bed.
“I hate you; I hate you with a passion. No more like loath.” Groggily, I laugh and so does he.
I can’t stay mad at my brother. He is the one who looks me after me, after all. Oh, our parents are there, but not really. Not all the way. Not all the time. You know how it is, the mom always at work, the dad always at the range. We put the fun in dysfunctional.
My brother is my protector, companion and friend. He feeds me, clothes me, and does about everything a normal brother would do. Just amplify that by a thousand. The only thing is, we look nothing like each other or our parents. Our parents are short and pudgy, coming to about five foot five inches, with blonde hair and green eyes. My brother, on the other hand, towers over me by about three inches, coming to about six foot one inch, while I am five foot ten inches. While he has brown hair blue eyes, I have a violent red- orange hair color and grey eyes. He is muscular and graceful. I am slender and clumsy.
Despite all these differences, we are one in the same. We like the same food; we like the same games, we both like the outside world, and we both want to get out of this house. We planned it out too. When he turns eighteen he will go and get an apartment with one bedroom- which I get- and one bathroom. He will buy a futon, and will sleep on that. When I’m eighteen I’ll move in with him. Right now I’m fifteen, only three more years to go, woopty- doo.
I get out of bed and go take a shower. When it’s the beginning of fall in North Dakota, it gets a little cold and the bucket of ice water that just got dumped on me doesn't help much. I hop in the shower and wish that today my hair will behave properly as I get out. When I get back to my room, I notice that my brother has put new sheets on my bed as a sort of ‘I’m sorry’ kind of gesture. I smile and go put on my shoes- without socks, something I have learned from my brother- and head down the steps for breakfast.
On the way down, as usual, I trip and land on the floor with a thud. The first day of school and I already have a bruise forming on my thigh, great. Then I smell it, the rosemary, and the savory sweet smell that I love. I love the smell of herbs and flowers, especially basil and lilac, that sweet and savory scent makes my mouth water and my tongue tingle. My dad planted a lilac tree for me in the backyard three years ago, before…
“So, ready for school?” my brother asks me, breaking me out of my reverie.
“Yeah, I just need to grab some lotion. The colder it gets, the harder it is.” I said, knowing my brother understood.
“Hey, are you running out? I noticed you didn't put it on yesterday night”
That’s my brother, always caring and annoying me to no end. That’s the only thing that I wish he would stop doing, caring about me more than he cares about his own state of mind. If he has to care about anything right now, it’s the fact that this is his junior year.
“I just decided not to put it on; and no I am not running out, why?” I asked back.
“I was going to the store today, and was wondering if I needed to pick some up.”
“If you want to pick some up, you go on right ahead. You know what to get right?”
“Yeah, I’ll meet you at school okay?”
“Okay, but I kind of hoped you would be there. It is my first day of high school after all.”
“You will be fine. This is one of the safest high schools there is. I swear I will check up on you after your first class, okay?”
“Fine, I will see you there.” I say as I hop off the stool.
When I get done eating breakfast, making sure that my white wool sweater and flower pattern skirt have no food on them, I walk out the door to our old weeping willow. As I walk past it, I reach out my hand and touch the old knotted bark for good luck like I always do, and start walking up the street.
Lazy Creek High School; ninth grade, first day and I already know it’s going to be the longest year of my life. This is the year I get to re-invent myself to who I want to be and not who I really am. This is the year I make friends that won’t stab me in the back, I get to make sure that there is no name calling that makes me want to jump off of a building, not make me want to cry myself to sleep every night.
Of course, that’s not what happened though.
CHAPTER 2
“Hey, what’s wrong with you?”
That’s the first thing I hear when I walk through the heavy oak doors. The next thing I knew, my stuff was knocked out of my hands and strewn across the floor. My journals were all around me, and my backpack had been taken from my back. My pencil case was being opened and the contents- pencils, hand lotion, a flash drive with family photos- were being thrown everywhere. I didn't get why he was doing this, but I knew it was probably because of me being a freshman, and even worse, a girl.
“What’s your problem? I was just walking by you-“
That’s all I got out though, because by that point he had pinned me to the floor and was starting to give me the biggest bruise ever known in history. Why was he doing this? Why was I always the one that got bullied? Whether it is mental or physical, it makes no difference. Maybe it’s just me. I mean my personality does come off shy at first sight, but that doesn't mean that you have to go wailing on me every time I walk past. Trust me when I say, this is not the first time this has happened.
“That will teach your brother not to mess with me, or my family.” And with that the boy was gone.
I wouldn't cry, not yet at least. I got my stuff packed up and started toward my first class. I got inside the classroom, and low and behold, the boy is in my first class. This is the first time I realized him, not just his looks but also his smell. He had short cropped blonde hair and piercings all down his left ear. His eyes were as blue as a night sky. His lips, not totally proportionate but still full none the less. He smelled really good too. Like… Herbs and butter. Perhaps he bakes or cooks. He was wearing a red and black flannel shirt and dark wash skinny jeans. He looked kind of like a dork, only because he was wearing tube socks with low black converse.
My first day of high school, and I’m already hated by people I don’t even know. What I don’t get, is how he knew I was Alex’s sister? I've never met this boy in my life, nor had I known he was my brother’s enemy. My brother has no enemies; he is my brother after all. He’s only a junior and hasn't been able to make a whole lot of enemies. Apparently it is enough time though; I would know. I was just in the middle of it.
The teacher walked in just then, breaking me out of my second reverie of the day. He went to the board and wrote in bright blue pen, Mr. Hart. He turned towards the class, and the first thing I notice is cologne. He either broke the bottle on himself, or he has some issues. He wore a pinstriped suit and had shaggy brown hair. I’m pretty sure he even had a tattoo peeking out above his collar.
“Good morning class, my name is Mr. Hart. This year I will be teaching you English and Drama. Today, I will be giving you your first book and go over some vocabulary. I will be asking for volunteers to help pass out books and to introduce themselves. Tell a little about themselves, and a little about their families,” explained Mr. Hart “the first book that we will be reading this year is Animal farm by George Orwell.”
I raised my hand. I didn't want to be the shy timid person that everyone thinks I am. I didn't want to be the last person to be standing on the line of fear and reality. Last of all, I didn't want this snob of a boy, who was sitting right in front of me, to take advantage of me anymore.
“Excuse me, Mr. Hart?” I asked, more nervous than I had hoped.
“Yes, miss… Bree Night. What could I do for you today?” he said while consulting a student list.
“Well first, I was wondering if you wanted me to pass some books out. Second, I wanted to volunteer to speak. In front of the class…”
He seemed to have gone into a trance, so I clapped to get him out of it. I only clapped because I didn’t know how to snap.
“Yes of course, Miss Night. Of course. Here, I’ll get the books and can someone help Miss Night here?” he handed me half the stack of twenty four and the other half to a guy named Tommy, without his consent of course. “While you are passing those out, you can tell us who you are and all that.”
That’s when I heard the noise.
CHAPTER 3
Something about this noise, it just didn’t make me feel good. It kind of sounded like a speed boat, but as it got closer, I realized that the sound was much too slow for a speed boat. Then it hit me. No, I mean itliterally hit me.
It was a stupid, rubber band. Not any rubber band, no. It was a rubber band shot by him. That stupid, self- centered, pig.
I was standing up at the front of the class, and he shot the rubber band. It hit me right in the lip, sending my lip back and into my tooth. I raised my hand to my mouth, touched my lip, and as I brought my hand back down everything went black.
I woke up in the nurse’s office. At least that’s where I think I was, I couldn’t tell with everybody crowding around me. I screamed and tried to get to the other side of the bed, thinking; oh no, he’s here! I’m going to die, again. Then someone grabbed my shoulder, and I slapped the person. Then I looked at who I slapped, woops. Wrong move to make; the person was my brother.
“Alex, I’m so sorry! I freaked out; I thought you were the guy.” I tried to explain myself, but then I looked around, and I saw him.
I broke down and cried. I didn’t want to see anybody right now; I just wanted to be left alone. I was sitting there, in all my glory, showing everyone how weak I truly am. I was going to re- invent myself this year, I was going to show everyone that I was strong. That never happens though; I always find a way to ruin that. Alex came to give me a hug, but I just pushed him away.
“Bree, what’s wrong? Why did you faint?” Alex asked nervously
“Somebody shot a rubber band, it hit me in the mouth, and I tasted blood. You know I hate blood. I fainted and woke up here.”
“Oh, Bree; I’m sorry. Do you want to go home?” Alex came over to me on the other side of the bed, I had moved away from him, and he started rubbing my arm trying to decipher the emotion on my face.
“No, I don’t. I want to go back to class, what period is it?”
“Bree, are you sure-“
“Alex, what period is it?” I repeated. Why was he acting like this? I just want to go back to class.
“Bree, I’m telling you. I don’t think-“
“Alex! I just want to go back to class okay? Please, just, tell me what class I have now.” I started to get quieter as the sentence went on, and I think my brother finally understood.
“Okay, okay fine. Your next class is in ten minutes, and it is Geometry. May I have you know that, the person who did this to you is standing about three feet away from us and is staring at you?” He asked this while looking up at my suspect. I looked up at the person and had this complete surge of rage.
I walked over to him and slapped him across the face. He looked stunned, and staggered back. All I could feel though was relief. Then that all changed, in the blink of an eye; I saw my brother stand up and go over to this boy. I don’t know why, but I stepped in front of him. Bad idea; I saw a hand raise and it fell on my face instead of this boy. I fell to the ground with a big thud, and when I looked up the boy was smiling.
This wasn’t any smile, no. This smile was crooked, this smile was sadistic. This smile was utterly evil. My brother saw it to, and because I wasn’t in his way this time, he raised his hand again. This boy, he still had this smile on his face; he was waiting for it. He was waiting for the hit he deserved and he wanted it to come; but I wasn’t about to let him have his way.
“Alex! Don’t. Don’t give him what he wants.” I said desperately.
Alex looks down to me, and I think that he finally saw that I was on the ground. I think he finally saw what he had done. I’m sitting on the ground looking up to this person in front of me, and I don’t think I’ve ever felt more scared than I was right then. This boy in front of me, this boy isn’t the loving older brother that I know. This boy has become a man, a man that has anger. I have only seen this man once before, when my brother and my dad got into a fight. I never want to see this man again, and hopefully I never will.
“Alex, please. Don’t hurt him; don’t be our father. I want you to back away from this boy, and go to class. I have five minutes to get to class, and I need to get ready.” I pleaded. “Alex, please go.”
Alex looked at me one last time, then looked at him and took off. He grabbed his jacket off of the chair and stormed out of the room, leaving me and this boy alone. I looked at the boy and saw that he still had the same sadistic smile on his face.
“Well, that was the event of the century.” He said in his raspy voice.
I got up, grabbed an ice pack out of the freezer, got my backpack on my back, and walked out of the nurse’s office. The last thing he saw of me was one finger that shall not be named.
CHAPTER 4
Geometry, I hate it.
There are two classes that I hate: math and psychology. This semester has both of them, great. I sit down and put my head on my arms waiting to fall asleep, but then someone taps my head with what felt like a pencil and I raised my head.
He was at least six foot one, and was smiling at me. Black hair that fell across one of his pale blue eyes, made his face look like a shadow; a completely, cute shadow. He was wearing black converse, black pants with a chain, and a black zip up hoodie. The funny thing though, I could see a white ribbed tank top underneath of the dark demeanor.
“Hey, are you okay?” he asked
His voice washed over me like a calming river. His breath smelled like spearmint, and I love spearmint. I sat up a little straighter and put my red hair over one shoulder and started to play with it.
“I’m fine. Just a little tired. What’s your name?” I asked a little bit more curiously than I intended.
“Scott. Scott Guard; and yours is?”
“Bree, Bree Night. Why do you ask?”
“What?”
“Why did you ask if I was okay? It’s not like people care…”
“I care. I asked because I care for pretty girls who get beat up on their first day of school. I care for people who faint at the sight of blood. I care because, that’s who I am,” he said while sitting down in front of me. He turned in his chair and stared into my grey eyes, and I stared right back into his blue ones.
“Well, thank you. I appreciate people who care for strangers. I appreciate people who know why they care. I appreciate you, I know I just met you, but I appreciate you.” I said. I was smiling for the first time that day. I was looking at Scott and he was smiling back with those vibrant white teeth.
Why was this happening? Why was he smiling at me? I have an ice pack stuck to my cheek, and this boy is making me smile like the idiot I am. I looked up at the clock and realized that we had five minutes before class was out. How did that happen? It feels like I just walked into this classroom five minutes ago, and now there was only five minutes left. I hadn’t taken any notes what so ever, and I was stuck in this trance with a boy I didn’t even know.
“Good, I’m glad we had this talk. Hey, I’ll find you at lunch. We can go sit outside and chat some more.” He said with that same smile on his face
“Sure. I’m supposed to be eating with my brother, but I can blow him off once. I’ll see you then.”
The bell rang at that minute and he stood up and left.
Wow. Did I just get invited to sit with someone at lunch? It was my first day of school too. That’s never happened to me before; I always get kicked to the curb because I look different. I’m rarely ever in the latest fashion, and my skin does make me look a little different than other people. I have uncontrollable hair and I’m not the prettiest, so for a guy to ask me if I’ll have lunch with him, this is a very big deal in my world.
I walk into my third class of the day and am hoping that no one I know will be in it; except for maybe Scott. I would like to see him again.
I go and sit down at the back of the class. I am in AP History, so I have to pay attention; why can’t I pay attention in the front of the class? I look up at the board and the name is Mr. Hanson or Mr. H if we wanted to call him that.
He looked to be around mid-thirties and he wore a bolo tie. I always despised bolo ties; they make men’s necks look bigger than they already were. He had on a pinstriped suit and some cowboy boots with a big buckle around his front; he must have grown up in Texas or something like that. He looked to be about five seven and quite muscular if I do say so myself.
“Hello class, my name is Mr. Hanson or Mr. H if you will. Today we are going to start by looking at ancient Greece. Is anyone excited, I know I am? So if you please take out your notebooks and pens or pencils, I will get the lecture started up.” He said in his southern accent. He ran his hands through his hair and then stroked his beard. “At the end of this lesson I will be asking two people to help pass out textbooks. Your homework tonight will be the introductory of this book, it’s only ten pages long front and back…”
By this point I had stopped listening, for two seats in front of me sat him. How many classes did I have with this boy? I don’t want my only safe haven to be in Geometry, I hate math. I don’t even know this boy’s name, and yet I am the one getting beat up. Why? It wasn’t even my fight until he brought me into it. What did Alex do to make this boy hurt me?
Just as I was about to look away, he turned around. His dark blue eyes met my grey ones and I instantly got the shivers. He turned back towards his desk, just to turn around again and pass a note to me. I took the note from the girl sitting in front of me, I think her name is Cassandra, and read it:
Look, you’re probably wondering who I am. You are probably wondering why I beat you up this morning. Well, I’ll tell you everything. I will tell you anything and everything you want to know, you just have to promise me one thing, will you keep my secret? If you can, meet me in the courtyard after school; I swear you won’t be sorry.
I wrote back one word: Yes.
CHAPTER 5
Lunch time.
For the first time that today, I think I was actually excited about something. My safe haven, aka Scott Guard, was going to meet me outside. I walk through the big double doors of the cafeteria and instantly spot my brother. I walk over to his table with all his friends and he makes someone scoot over for me. Wow, I have a really great brother don’t I? I sit down and look at my brother, his brilliant smile turned into a worried frown instantaneously.
“What happened to your face?” he asks worriedly
“Well, hello to you too.” I say sarcastically and start to get up from the table. Half of it was because of the comment, the other half was because I needed to get to Scott.
Alex grabs my wrist and brings me back down, “That’s not what I meant. What I meant is why your cheek is all swollen.” he took my face gently between his strong hands and turned my head to the side to get a better look at the blue bruise on my cheek.
I put my hands on top of his and take them off my cheeks. I then put his hands back on his lap, “Don’t worry about it. I’ll tell you at home. Right now I have to go meet a friend outside for lunch and I may get home late. I have to meet, someone, after school” I didn’t realize my mistake until I felt myself stutter.
“Who is it?” Alex asked defensively. I knew what he was thinking, that the person I’m meeting is the same person that hit me. What he didn’t know was, that it is.
“Nobody Alex, don’t worry. You get so protective over me sometimes I feel like you don’t pay enough attention to yourself.” I say, and I instantly regret it. The hurt in his eyes was all I needed to break down. “Alex I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean that. I love how much you take care of me, and I hope you don’t blame yourself for this. This is not your fault and-“ I couldn’t take it anymore.
I felt everybody’s eyes on me, and then I look at Alex. I knew I had about two seconds before I broke down again. Why do I cry so much? I may be a girl but I’m not a crier, usually.
I ran outside of the cafeteria and I run right into the one person that I could not stand, the person that started all of this; I run into him. He was going into the cafeteria while I was running out of it. I literally felt like a freight train running into a cliff. I ran into him and we both fell over. I landed on top of him and a whole bunch of people started doing that sound that’s really annoying. It’s a high pitch squeal that goes off every time a really sweet moment happens in a movie.
As we fell, I tucked my head into his chest. I don’t know why I did it, but I did. And what happens next is nothing of what I expected. This boy that I don’t even know the name of wrapped his arms around me and protected me as we fell. When we landed, I looked up at him while we lay there. He looks down at me and for the first time I saw a glimmer of sweetness in his eyes. Just as soon as it was there, it was gone and I was being pushed to the ground.
He got up and looked at me. He reached out to help me up and then he obviously second guessed his actions, because he pulled back. He made some eye contact to make sure I was okay. As soon as I nodded, he was gone.
Weird. I was so engulfed in running into him; I had forgotten why I was running in the first place. That was, until I saw my brother come through the double doors in a run. He saw me sitting there against the wall and held out his hand. I took it and he pulled me up and into his chest, engulfing me in a hug. I hugged him back and he started to walk us to a more secluded area of the hallway.
“Are you okay?” he asked as we sat back down. I had stopped crying by this point but my tears obviously weren’t done.
I started crying again and then I felt myself being pulled onto my brother’s lap. He tucked my head underneath his chin and rubbed my back. We stayed like that for a little while as I cried myself out of tears.
“Okay, now I’m done.” I say as I laugh a little bit and wipe my face with the sleeve of my sweater. He continued to rub my back and then the bell rang.
“Shoot, I got to go.” I said as I untangled myself from his embrace.
“Hold on little sis’” he said while getting up.
“I can’t I got to go!” I grab my backpack that mysteriously showed up at my side and start to run to my next class.
Alex ran next to me and yanked my hand back. “Wait, Bree!” I kept going and finally he gave up and while I was running to my next class I faintly hear, “We are talking about this when you get home!” from a distressed Alex.
Why is my life so complicated?
And to make matters worse, guess who showed up in my next class? Anybody remember Scott?
I sure didn’t.
CHAPTER 6
Shoot! Our lunch.
I sit down in the second to last row, and guess who sits down behind me? That’s right; one Mr. Scott Guard. I pull out a book and bury my head in it to try and tell him I don’t want to talk right now. Well, that was half of it. The other half is that I was just too embarrassed for words. My eyes were all puffy and my hair was in knots. That didn’t stop him from talking though, nope.
“Hey, are you okay?” he asked worriedly “I didn’t see you at lunch and when I went to look for you, I saw your backpack but you weren’t there with it.”
He was looking for me? Wow, I can’t believe he was actually looking for me. I was thinking all of this and then he slid a note onto my desk. He was obviously done talking. I put the note in my pocket for later and started to pay attention in class. What class was I in? By the looks of it, I was in Human Biology.
I actually like the human anatomy and cells and all that jazz. It just takes me a while to learn it. By the looks of it, the first thing we will be learning this year is cells; the anatomy of it, the different types, and everything in between.
My brother thinks that I bury my problems in school work. I’d call him crazy, but, it’s probably true. I get tense and he’ll try to help by hugging me, holding me, anything to make me not stressed and it usually works. Sometimes though, I just have to read my English book, or even, do some math problems. Even though I hate math, I’ll do it anyways.
I couldn’t tell what was written on the board. I need glasses so badly. My brother says he will pay for them, but I refuse to let him pay for one more thing. The clothes that he buys me, and the food that I eat, that’s enough.
I finally tuned in to what the teacher was saying, and I jotted down the homework for that night. When the bell rang I went to gym. I tried to move around everybody, but for some reason they were being really slow. As soon as I got outside I knew that Scott was right behind me. He caught me by the elbow and made me walk at his pace.
“Why weren’t you at lunch? I was actually looking forward to this…” the hurt in his voice made my heart melt and I felt so guilty. “You’re my first friend in a long time, and I thought you actually liked me a little.” I look at him and I saw that there was a deep blush on his cheeks; I wonder if he likes me?
“I know, and I’m sorry. I got caught by my brother and then he saw my face and I got mad and I broke down.” I stopped abruptly noticing that I was rambling, “You don’t care though do you, and sorry I took up your time with my futile talk.” I got loose from him, but at the last moment, his hand slipped into mine and he pulled me back.
Who is this person? Does he know what he’s getting himself into? I’m not good for him. My parents aren’t there, which is hard on all of us in the Night household. My brother is way too overprotective, I look like a fish, and he just deserves so much more, so much more.
“What are you doing?” I ask hesitantly
“I want to talk to you, but you keep trying to escape from me.” He explained as he pulled me back towards him, “and you look really cute when you ramble.” He smiled and I swear I almost fainted with those brilliant teeth.
“It’s obnoxious. Even my brother, who loves me to death, tells me to stop when I babble.” I try to put some reason into his head; I don’t think he listened though.
“I don’t necessarily care.” He pulled me closer to him until I was flush against his chest “I know you don’t mean to-“
I cut him off “What are you doing?” I say as I pull out of the awkward position I was in.
“What do you mean?” he asked obviously confused
“You just pulled me basically into a hug” I say with a newfound redness on my cheeks, “if you wanted a hug, you could have just asked.”
He turned even redder then he already was. “May I please have a hug Miss Night?” He bowed as if we were in old England and his hair swooped down across his eyes.
I laughed and curtsied in return. “You may Mister Guard.” He took my hand gently and pulled me in for a hug. I let him this time and I didn’t question it.
His hug felt warm and loving. Like the hugs my brother gives, when he is not very busy. He wrapped his arms around me and started walking us backward till his back hit the wall. I tucked my head into his chest and wrapped my arms around his waist.
That’s when I decided to ask a question. “Why did you want to hug me?” I try to ask nonchalantly; it didn’t come out that way. It came out a lot more curious than I wanted it to.
“I don’t know. A pretty girl in my arms just felt right; especially when it’s this pretty girl.” He said sweetly. I looked up at him and I saw that same glimmer of sweetness in his eyes; my face turned red and I buried my face in his chest once again. He laughed softly.
“What are you laughing about?” I say suspiciously
“Who knew the prettiest girl in the school could get even cuter with a blush?” He said as he let go suddenly. “Hey, we’ve got company pretty girl.”
I look up at him and saw him shooting daggers at something. Make that someone. I turn around and find a person staring at me. Alex. Why is he here? Right, he goes to school here, but I meant why did he stop here? Where I was standing with this magnificent boy…
Shoot, Alex just caught me hugging a boy. I mean, it’s not that bad in my eyes; especially since I was there. But to Alex, who knew what he was thinking right now. His next action said it all.
He came up to me and grabbed my hand. He started to pull me away, but then Scott came up and grabbed my other. I felt like a rag doll being tossed around by the tigers in the zoo. Back and forth, back and forth; it was starting to hurt. Finally I just had enough of it.
“Let go, both of you!” And, of course, they decide to let go at the same time. I fell down on the floor and looked at both of them.
“Bree, what the hell is going on?” Alex yelled at me. “I’m walking to the bathroom, and I stop to catch you hugging some boy and skipping class.” The way he said the word boy made it sound like the devil.
“Bree, who is this person?” asked Scott. That’s all he said, and I admired him for keeping his calm. His eyes seemed to change colors from pale blue to a dark sapphire. Somehow I knew he was mad. He also sounded a little hurt, I think he thought I already had a boyfriend.
Even though I never asked for a boyfriend, who knew? It could happen.
I knew I was in deep trouble, not just with them but with myself also.
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